That's Not How I Roll

We had the pleasure of going bowling with some friends this past weekend. I love bowling. I am not bragging, but I did knock out a 175 in my second game. Not bad for a guy who rarely bowls. I was excited for my high score, but very disappointed with this particular alley.

I grew up in bowling alleys, and I know a good alley when I see one. Rumor has it I was conceived after hours behind the snack bar at the Pla Bowl Lanes in Herington, Kansas. Not sure if it's true or not, but it could explain my love for the lanes.

Mom was in the Wednesday night under 40 league. She had her own ball, shoes and that thing that goes on your wrist; she was for real. I loved joining her for bowling night--she got to have fun with her friends and I got to have fun with mine. I remember the video games, snack machines, even sneaking a kiss back behind the bowling lockers. The sounds of the pins crashing, and the smell of smoke is something I will never forget. If I wasn't with mom at the lanes, I made it a point to call and have her paged. It was exciting to hear the "Terry Jensen, your son is on the phone" over the sounds of the crashing pins. I never really needed anything, just checkin' in. She loved it.

I was so excited to go bowling this past weekend. Not only to share my bowling abilities with our new friends, but just to be in a bowling alley. The fact that I bowled a 175 is the only good thing that came out of our bowling adventure.

Not only does our local alley not allow smoking (normally I'd appreciate that, but it's a bowling alley, bowlers need to smoke) but there isn't even a pool table. There is no loud speaker announcing high scores, not even pages alerting parents that their kids are on the phone. There aren't lockers and the snack bar doesn't serve nachos. These are all obvious violations of the ICBAR (International Code of Bowling Alley Requirements). Although serious violations, this particular alley, which will remain nameless, committed the number one violation according to the ICBAR standards: No ball weighing more than 12 pounds shall be pink in color. Specifically, the fourteen pound ball, that is probably used mostly by men, including myself, shall not be pink.

I don't roll pink balls. Sorry.

We won't be back.